Friday, September 09, 2005

The Mark, The Faker, The Shifty Bookmaker

Here's what the "critics" are saying about the
Rubber Bomb Guide to Investment y Personal Wealth:

The insider's guide to all the tricks of the trade. A must have for all investment opportunists.
--Shelly Longgrass, Stakes/McGuff Int.

Finally, a book written by grifters for grifters. Clear explanations of the simplest procedures and the most complex stings. A real life-savings taker.
--Guy Mondrian, CEO, Save The Smithsonian From Zombies Fund

I've served time in a lot of state and federal houses and the information in this guide is by far the most lucrative I've ever traded a carton of smokes for.
--Howard "Cookbook" Larue, #96138, Editor, Avenal Chronicle

At last--common sense for chiselers! This is the first book that really targets the needs of the low overhead operator. Enclose $10 (cash only) and a self-addressed stamped envelope for more information.
--Joe Smith, Three-card monte dealer, Jean, NV

Thanks a million! Now anyone can pull a quick and quiet short con. This was all I had. I'm ruined.
--Theo Dokes, Former swindler, Current whereabouts unknown

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Term Life for Male Smokers

So I haven't been out of my apartment in a long, long time. Quite awhile, actually. A serious stretch, to be sure. Mostly because I'm tired a lot. Which is mostly because I drink a lot. Which is mostly because I'm tired a lot. Circular arguments aside [not to worry, we'll invite them back presently--along with a few false analogies, a couple o' straw arguments, an "either-or" assumption or two, some unjustified conclusions, and (of course) some serious misuse of statistics], I just haven't ventured out in a lengthy spell--and therefore I could be misinformed about recent events, I'm just not certain. Quick question: Did the Sands casino really close? Really? Wow. A shame. That's all I can say, a shame (twice). It had good scotch and a nice putting green. Tough combo to find these days. I can recall the marquee like it was yesterday: Elayne Boosler. Goodbye Norma Jean, indeed. Still, I'll always have my memories of the Copa Room (was that one "p" or two?) and the Wayne Newton pickle sandwich (was that one "pickle" or two?). Anyway, let me know if need some old matchbooks (yes, with the penguins on the inside flap) or laminated casino guest cards. I got plenty.