English as a Second Source of Income

My glockenspiel playing has eroded in quality. Oh it's a subtle difference to the untrained ear, but the real fans... they know. Oh, they try to be supportive. But when the entirety of the Hollywood Bowl chants in unison, "Not bad, try again. Not bad, try again." ...well, you gotta suspect something.

I have been eating a great deal more. Berries, mostly. Lingonberries... gooseberries, blueberries, screwberries and elderberries. Also mulberries. Salmonberries, bearberries, thrushberries, cloudberries, threenightvacationberries and pickleberries. And boiled eggs.

And now we've arrived at the denouement. Perhaps you thought we-- I MEAN I!!! It's just me here-- were (was!) rambling without purpose oh, these past 17 hours, hmm? (Sorry, we type slow --I TYPE slow.) Well, faithless readers, pull out your decoder rings, set that colander on your head and don't throw the macaroni salad at your sister! Here's tonight's big money code phrase:

"The contents of this site (hereafter referred to as "Malarky"), such as text, graphics, images and blatant solicitations for "cashola" are for informational purposes only. The Malarky is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment or horse race handicapping (although we do like ThorazineShuffle in the 3rd at Arlington Park). It is not a substitute for a medical exam, nor does it replace the need for services provided by a medical professional or daytime television show host (except for Danza. Never listen to Danza). Always seek the advice of your doctor before taking any prescription or over the counter drugs or following any treatment or regiment. And we'd even double check with him on the Arlington Park pick... it's been a rough month around here."

So remember kids, write down that answer on the back of a crisp Andy Jackson and send it in just as quick as you can. And yes, Susie... we "can" make change for a fifty. (Isn't she sweet?)