Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Juiced Tin Time


TO: Trans World Supermarket and Cpt. A.E.G. Throckmorton

FROM: Five equals 3.327

SUBJECT: The Passing Mrs. Ankle Flowers and Cpt. A.E.G. Throckmorton

DATE: You ask a lot of questions.

In an effort to rectify the divergence of capitol as outlined in section II of the Bittersweet Chocolate (Yummy Yum Yum) and Chest Diving Treaty of 1987, it is the firm belief of the firm -- belief of the firm (belief of the firm [belief of the firm]) -- that the governess is fully entitled to the entirety of the full remainder of the withhold as identified in the Kern County jailhouse public line-up held on 3rd June, 1993... 1993... Red 27... hut HUT ([whistle] "Neutral zone infraction, #91, Defense.  5 yard penalty resulting in a first down").  In accordance with Wyoming state law, I recommend that the defendant get a room.  We are seeking the wisdom of the court and rely on its superior knowledge to recognize when its ass is being kissed.  Further, we beseech the court rule in favor of the ass-kissers and accept this coincidental gift of a brand new Bentley Mulsanne. Further still, we request that the public defender stop drooling on my Kenneth Coles and offer to pay for half of the club sandwich, as it has disappeared from my tray and reappeared in his lap looking a little the worse for wear.  Still further still, we demand an injunction against anyone because we feel that it's cool to so demand. Sincerely, Argus Greensleeves, Lisbon, KY.  We rest your honor.  We also make peepee-poopoo in our pants if you rule against us.

--Me Timbers (shivered, not stirred)

1 comment:

  1. I once met a judge at the bottom of a fondue pot. He was wearing an orange cone on his head and little else. We addressed him as "Old Bitters" via paper airplanes. Still had to pay that parking fine, though.


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