Thursday, June 17, 2004

Rubber Bomb Decoder Ring

Ladies and Germaphobes,

The Rubber Bomb (patent lapsed) is an organization that prides itself on security and strict quality controls (consequently, you'd think we could get a decent bear claw around here!) in producing it's literary content (read: blithering babble). As a result, all of our published entries are encoding with advanced algorithms to confound and thwart our sworn enemies (read: loyal patrons). To keep the information flowing freely to our boon companions (read: arch rivals) we ask you to adhere to following guidelines in order to properly decode (read: try like hell to understand) the light banter and whimsical tales contained herein.

KEY: [word/phrase written] = [word/phrase to be used]

Perrier = Night Train
clay oven = acetylene torch
a clearing in the forest = alley filled with broken glass
years spent abroad = a weekend at the track
Henri Matisse = Bruce Jenner
a natty cap = 3 unmatched sweat socks and a cheese shredder
the azure sea = a rusted nail
beyond reproach = taking a leak in the front yard
a remarkable coincidence = who's the leprechaun and does HE have the key to the humidor?
wire whisk = rear spoiler from a mid 60's Impala
Highway Patrol = Dan Haggarty on a bender
the ocean floor = 2-for-1 night at the Boobs 'n' Wings
a vital contribution = face plant in the onion dip

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